Let me start by saying, I love my husband completely, I really do, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. We have an amazing story, one that I will happily tell our children all about one day, but it’s also a story that is developing and changing and growing each and every day.
We met in the summer of 2004, he became one of my dearest friends, and we finally took that flying leap out of the Friend Zone in the fall of 2009. We married in the spring of 2011 (where Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds recently married, I must add!) and I haven’t regretted a single moment since (although I’m sure my husband often thinks otherwise!):
My husband is my greatest love, my biggest supporter, and my best friend. But, with all this said, marriage still isn’t easy. In fact, sometimes it’s downright HARD.
When you’re faced with the daily grind, when life feels monotonous and miniscule, when little facets of your relationship become overwhelmed with bickering….sometimes it’s hard to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
You forget that his solidity and modesty are what drew you to him.
You forget that his smile lights up his face and ignites a fire inside your heart.
You forget that his hand, no matter what – in the best of times, in the worst of times – is always reaching out for yours.
You forget that he’s wicked smart.
You forget that he’s been there for you for the better part of your life, and will remain – loyal and honest and loving – there until the end.
You forget that he completes you in the best of ways.
Yes, when the going gets rough, when you feel misunderstood or unheard, when you’re filled with anger and misgivings, you simply forget that your husband isn’t perfect, but he’s amazing just as he is.
I must admit, the first year of marriage hasn’t been an easy one. There’s been some God-awful arguments, tears, a multitude of doubts and insecurities, frustrations, and, of course, the ensuing nagging. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing! We are learning how to fit together – in the best of ways and in the worst of ways. We are learning how to fight for ourselves while fighting for this marriage. We are learning how to pick our battles. We are learning that no matter how bumpy Life gets, we can’t, we won’t, let our relationship fall between the cracks.
I think that’s the hardest part of it all – accepting that this person you love so dearly isn’t going to judge or mislead you; that you needn’t keep your guard up or your pride down. That this person by your side is going to continue to stand by it, even when you’re tired and grumpy, or over-dramatic, or over-zealous, or entirely lazy, and utterly frumpy. Yep, that person is going to look you in the face and still love you.
This is something I need to remember, and remember often: there’s always going to be bad times, but there will be many, many, MANY more good times, and I need to learn to appreciate them all.
Like this…(in Croatia)
And this…(in Belize)
And definitely this…(in Mexico)
As long as it’s just the two of us…
….I’ll be happy (even when I don’t act like it sometimes). I love you Tom.
In the end, that’s all that marriage is really about – pure and uninhibited love.