We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there too. – Kristin Martz
I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot lately, and I’ve struggled with putting into words my feelings as of late. You see, I have lost myself in this thing called motherhood; it brings me the greatest joy, but there also runs an undercurrent of apprehension and frustration. Life will forever be altered and I am no longer who I once was. But who have I become?
This is the question that keeps me up at night. I am a mother and a wife; these are roles that are so incredibly fulfilling in so many ways. But there is a part of me that still craves…something more. I just don’t yet know what that something is.
What I do know is that while I have lost myself in motherhood, I am also in the process of finding myself there too. No, I am not who I once was – I am something better. I created a person and that is something magical. But my priorities have changed and my focus is shifting.
What does all this mean for my blog? Well, it means that my inspirations have also shifted and I’m not yet sure in what direction I want them to go.
I do have a few grandiose ideas, just not the time to execute them. And rather than split my time between blogging and baby with neither getting the full attention necessary, I’d rather delight in my little one and give him my all. Motherhood has most definitely become an all-encompassing priority (and finding any semblance of a routine has been quite the arduous path. If anyone has any advice on getting a 3 month old to nap for longer than 35 minutes at a time, please let me know!). So, until I have the time and the proper mindset, my blog will have to take the back seat.
When I do recommence (and I have every intention to!), I hope to have a better focus, a style that is entirely my own, a few more DIY’s under my belt, and a voice that truly embraces all of the realities of motherhood: the joys, the strains, the desperate need for a shower, and the desire to instill a little bit of fashion into the new mom wardrobe.
Mainly, I hope to rediscover what I initially set out to achieve with this blog: to feel inspired. And lately, that’s exactly what has been lacking.
So for all of my readers, thank you so very much for following me. I’m sure I will lose a few of you as time lags and my focus shifts, but it was a fun ride while it lasted and I thank you for giving me the chance. And for those of you that do choose to stick it out, you are my greatest inspiration and I hope that I don’t disappoint.
I’ll be back, it’ll just take a little time to find myself again through the things I love.
ps…I will still be posting on Instagram and Facebook so feel free to follow me there in the meantime!
I can’t think of a better reason to step back from blogging. Enjoy the time with your little one, Kristen and I for one can’t wait to hear about your adventures in motherhood when you return. 🙂
Jessica, thank you! An adventure is definitely what motherhood is, and while there has been a LOT of trial and error and a few missteps, I am learning to find my way. I’ve managed to get my guy on a slightly better routine and am even able to find a little time to myself these days! [insert sweet sigh of relief here]. While I’m not quite posting regularly yet, I am posting now. That’s a good start, I think!
Hi there!I’ve only just discovered your blog and read through most of it and I really love it!I found you thanks to my favourite blog:Practising Simplicity.I
hope you’ll be back soon but as a mother of a nearly 3-year-old little guy and a 4 and a half months old little girl I know you’ll need time to ‘get out’ of the intensity of becoming a mum…
It’s so funny though as I could have written most of your posts about becoming a mum almost with the same words!It’s overwhelming AND wonderful ( but mostly scary and exhausting for me at the moment,as my Little Fairy is hungry day and night every 3 hours).
If you lived close to me I would have suggested to meet up!!!
Good luck to you and hope you’ll be back here blogging.
And a little kiss to your gorgeous boy, from France!
Amandine, what a sweet and supportive comment – thank you! It really is so hard to put motherhood into words, isn’t it? It’s frustrating and magical and overwhelming and monotonous and wonderful and heartbreaking and heartwarming and just downright fun all at the same time! I’m still knee deep in the intensity of motherhood, of course, but I’m finally able to get a grip on things a little better and find some time to myself. It sounds like you’re knee deep as well! How do you do it with multiples?? I plan on having another one of these days, but dear Lord, the thought is overwhelming. I would love to hear more from you, and in the meantime, I wish you luck with your hungry Little Fairy! Kisses to your Littles from Virginia!
wow…I respect your decision and support it!! will stick to this wonderful blog!! 🙂
LynAn, thank you so much for sticking with me! It was a difficult choice – blogging gave me that little bit of freedom and link to my old self, but I was losing my focus and joy when having to choose between it and my child. Of course, my child won the battle. But now that the little guy is on a better routine and has actually learned to sleep for longer periods, I am happy to say that I have a little bit of my time back! I won’t be posting every day, but I’m keeping an open mind and doing the best I can 🙂