self «

We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there too. – Kristin Martz

I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot lately, and I’ve struggled with putting into words my feelings as of late. You see, I have lost myself in this thing called motherhood; it brings me the greatest joy, but there also runs an undercurrent of apprehension and frustration. Life will forever be altered and I am no longer who I once was. But who have I become?

This is the question that keeps me up at night. I am a mother and a wife; these are roles that are so incredibly fulfilling in so many ways. But there is a part of me that still craves…something more. I just don’t yet know what that something is.

What I do know is that while I have lost myself in motherhood, I am also in the process of finding myself there too. No, I am not who I once was – I am something better. I created a person and that is something magical. But my priorities have changed and my focus is shifting.

What does all this mean for my blog? Well, it means that my inspirations have also shifted and I’m not yet sure in what direction I want them to go.

I do have a few grandiose ideas, just not the time to execute them. And rather than split my time between blogging and baby with neither getting the full attention necessary, I’d rather delight in my little one and give him my all. Motherhood has most definitely become an all-encompassing priority (and finding any semblance of a routine has been quite the arduous path. If anyone has any advice on getting a 3 month old to nap for longer than 35 minutes at a time, please let me know!). So, until I have the time and the proper mindset, my blog will have to take the back seat.

When I do recommence (and I have every intention to!), I hope to have a better focus, a style that is entirely my own, a few more DIY’s under my belt, and a voice that truly embraces all of the realities of motherhood: the joys, the strains, the desperate need for a shower, and the desire to instill a little bit of fashion into the new mom wardrobe.

Mainly, I hope to rediscover what I initially set out to achieve with this blog: to feel inspired. And lately, that’s exactly what has been lacking.

So for all of my readers, thank you so very much for following me. I’m sure I will lose a few of you as time lags and my focus shifts, but it was a fun ride while it lasted and I thank you for giving me the chance. And for those of you that do choose to stick it out, you are my greatest inspiration and I hope that I don’t disappoint.

I’ll be back, it’ll just take a little time to find myself again through the things I love.

ps…I will still be posting on Instagram and Facebook so feel free to follow me there in the meantime!

I must admit, motherhood is most definitely an all-consuming job and lately, I have been struggling with maintaining a sense of self in the process. I love my little bean so completely that I have found myself putting me on the back burner. Yep, there are times I forget to brush my teeth, to eat, and makeup…well, that has simply become an extravagance!

So, as mentioned in my previous post and to reinforce my sanity, one of my top goals for the New Year is to concentrate on myself outside of motherhood. Or rather, to not lose myself within this new role of motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a mother. I love watching my little bean explore the world, one finger at a time. I love providing comfort and snuggles. I love his wide, curious eyes and his sideways smile. But I have to remind myself that in order for me to be the best possible role model for him, I need to take care of myself.

You musn't be afraid to sparkle.

I typically curate my inspirations via Pinterest and then quickly forget all about them, but this year, I plan to hold myself a little more accountable by sharing my style inspirations with all of you and actually taking action…

…like purchasing these leopard loafers from Banana Republic (that no longer seem to be available…argh!). Although, I love the whole outfit – the distressed boyfriend jeans, the striped sweater, the chunky bracelets…very casual chic!

Or buying and wearing more hats because 1) I seem to have a permanent bad hair day lately, and 2) a hat can truly pull together any look (paired with red lips and a chunky scarf and you’ve got yourself a complete ensemble!).

And wearing more simple, quality jewelry like this piece.

These are all tangible, purchasable things, of course, but beyond that, they inspire me to really develop and refine my personal flair. More importantly, it inspires me to be more confident and comfortable with myself.

A couple more ways I hope to pamper myself:

Get more manicures….

…learn a few tricks to get me out of this bad hair funk. The key is quick and easy!

…and (gulp) workout! Even if for a few minutes at home. This workout is a great place to start. I’ve done it a few times already and I can actually feel my muscles working.