2016-04-28 03.35.34 1-01

Let me just start by saying: I never EVER thought twins were in my future. The thought was not even a blip on my radar. The thought wasn’t a blip on anyone’s radar – fraternal twins don’t run on either side of the family. But here I am, a genetic mutant, with b/g twins.

2016-04-05 12.07.44 1-01 (1)

And I must admit, I never wanted twins. It took me many months of an ever growing belly to warm up to the idea. And only now, 9 weeks postpartum, have I accepted and grown to love the idea. But now, it’s not just an idea, it is my reality, and one that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

It isn’t easy though (and I definitely never expected it to be!). Every day I wake up and immediately remind myself that I am only one person. With the twins, I feel so guilty when I am holding one and not the other. Or when one gets more breast milk than the other (I’ve had to supplement more and more), or when both are crying when I have to tend to the toddler. Or when I have to tend to the twins and not the toddler. Or when I put the toddler in front of the TV (Daniel Tiger is my saving grace) just to get a moment of peace. The list goes on and on. But I am not Super Mom, as much as I want or try to be, and the best I can do is know that I am doing my best. So when panic creeps in as I try to prepare and sit my toddler down for lunch as the babies are screaming for their own, I have to take a deep breath and realize that I am not destroying my child’s chance at Life by allowing them to cry a little.



Every day is a feat and at the end of it, I feel like I have conquered the world because I have kept 3 kids and myself alive, and throughout the day we all even managed to smile more than once. The house is never quiet or clean. I am rarely showered or clean. But I always manage to get dressed, put on a little makeup, eat breakfast (lunch is still up in the air), and enjoy a sometimes semi-warm cup of coffee. And on good days (like today) I even manage to get a little work done. It’s hectic and exhausting and beautiful.

I read a blog post recently that really struck a chord with me. In fact, I cried. Because this stage of life IS hard. I mean, really, really hard. And it’s not just a twin thing, it’s a motherhood thing. We all find ourselves in the trenches at some point – many points – throughout this journey. Sometimes it’s hard not to wish away this phase or that phase (I can’t wait until they have better neck control, I can’t wait until they can hold their own bottle, I can’t wait until they start sleeping though the night, I can’t wait until they become more aware of the world, I can’t wait until they are all old enough to play together, etc. etc.). But at the same time, we have to constantly remind ourselves that this is ONLY a phase – when Life becomes so overwhelming with a laundry list of to-do’s and don’t do’s and monotonous routines and constant chaos and a bombardment of questions and demands and screams and cries and screams and cries…it’s hard to remember that this too shall pass. And when it does, you will miss it. Tremendously.

It’s the stage where your kids love you more than they are ever going to love you again, for the whole rest of your life. It’s the stage where they can fit their entire selves into your lap to snuggle…and they want to. It’s the stage where their biggest problems are ear infections and teething and stomach viruses, and you’re not having to deal yet with things like broken hearts or addiction or bullying…

So yeah, right now, in this moment, Life is hard. Like, really, really hard. But it’s also so simple and so beautiful and so right.


So to all you amazing, beautiful, hard-working, and imperfect mothers out there – you have the hardest job in the world, and you’re doing great. But when you’re having a shitty day, a shitty week, or even a shitty month, just remember that this too shall pass, and as hard as it may be to think outside of the moment, one day this moment (vomit, poopy diapers, ear-piercing shrieks, and all) will be missed. So enjoy as best you can, and HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY!!


With a year and a half of motherhood now under my belt, I have learned to appreciate my own mother so much more than I ever have. Not that I didn’t appreciate her, I always have, but I am quickly realizing how much a mother loves, worries, and is willing to sacrifice for a child – and she had 3! In this day and age, it’s hard NOT to worry. With the media constantly barraging us with horror stories of the every day death trap, fear mongering has become the accepted norm. I’ve read a dozen articles about mothers getting arrested for allowing their own children to walk alone to the park (free-range parenting). I’ve heard mothers judging other mothers for not hovering enough – what if he falls and scrapes a knee! I’ve seen parents stressing over which side of the car is the safest to (properly!) install a car seat (ahem, that would be ME). I’ve even had terrible thoughts about some kind of freak accident happening to my own son while he’s running around with my keys or a stick or a crayon. But there is a point in which we all need to take a step back and ask ourselves “what would mom do?” Because 50 years ago, parents were so much more likely to let their children be, well, children.


My mother loves telling me stories about when she was little. Her car seat consisted of a metal bar and more often than not, her and her siblings were rolling around in the back of the car playing “I spy” – or wrestling. An older friend of mine recently told me that when she was young, her parents took out the middle seats of their VW and stuck in a playpen for the kids to roll around in on long drives. Not that I’m advocating these things  – I am perfectly happy with my properly installed, rear-facing car seat – but such stories can teach us an important lesson: to fear less and live more.

Even when I was young, at 7 or 8, I would take off on my bike and let the wind take me wherever it would go. I would leave the house in the morning, pop back in for an afternoon lunch, and head back out until dusk. I would play in creeks, catch frogs, build forts, climb trees, knock down wasps nests, make dandelion salads (that I sometimes actually ate), run amok in the woods, and feel alive all the while. I was told not to cross highways or play on train tracks or go too deep into the woods or climb too high a tree, and I was given the freedom to play within those boundaries. Allowing your child to have some semblance of independence and responsibility isn’t a bad thing – it teaches them to be independent and responsible. And sometimes someone did get hurt. A broken arm or leg, a stubbed toe, stitches, a black eye, a wasp sting. It would hurt, sometimes we would pay the price for our independence, and it taught us about consequence.


I fear every minute of every day that something terrible may happen to my son – I think that’s simply a part of being a mother. But I shouldn’t allow my fears to get in the way of my child having a fun and carefree childhood. Like I did. Like my mother did. I’m not going to stop him from chasing my dogs with a stick because “it could poke his eye out.” I’m not going to stop letting him explore the garden because he could trip over a stone, or play in the dirt because a bug could bite him. I’m going to let him climb and play and run and explore because that what a kid should do and I don’t want him to fear the world.


That’s my job.

I know all too well the dangers that are out there. I’m going to fear and hold his hand and hover. And then I am going to ask myself, “what would mom do?” And, after a few minutes of an epic internal battle, I’m going to let him go.

Please note: This is NOT free-range parenting vs. helicopter parenting since I think most of us fall somewhere in-between. It’s important to be wise, set boundaries, and understand the limitations of your child (my kid, for example, is not yet 2 so “letting him go” is pretty limited) but it is also think it’s important to let a kid be a kid (I’m going to try to hover less at the playground as he makes his way across the bridge and down the slide, but I am not going to let him run into the construction zone next door to ogle at all the “big tucks!”).

What stories has your mother told you about her childhood? And do they make you think twice about how you raise your own child?


Little G 2 FINAL 2

WARNING: this post turned out to be far, FAR longer that I anticipated! But it is something close to my heart. There are aspects of motherhood I have struggled with, continue to struggle with, and will always struggle with. Knowing that I am not alone has helped me acknowledge and better understand these aspects of myself. Being a parent is such an incredible journey, filled with emotions that I never realized existed until I actually became a parent. There is so much joy, but there is also doubt and frustration that every mother will feel and has the right to feel along the way. I’ve started this series to share my mistakes, struggles, and thoughts on motherhood to perhaps help other mothers feel less alone through it all. Because it shouldn’t be a lonely process! There are millions of mothers just like you in this world. We’ve been there or are going through it. Instead of judging, criticizing, and scrutinizing each other, why not just talk? Constructively. Positively. Pleasantly. Because in the end, we’re all just trying to do our best.

1. PATIENCE. Dear Lord, so much patience is required! I have to admit, I do lose my cool sometimes, in which case I will walk away for a minute or two, take deep breathes, give myself a little pep talk, and then dive back into the chaos. Freaking out on your child is never a good idea – it simply adds fuel to the fire. Emote calmness and your child will pick up on that…eventually. Maybe? Honestly, my husband is the calming presence that I can only hope to emulate. But the amount of patience that I’ve discovered just sitting there, hiding beneath my skin – it could have come in handy in the past! But there is nothing like motherhood to bring out those parts of you that you never knew existed…and no time like the present.

2. AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF LOVE. I know, so cliche! But the love I feel for this kid really is overwhelming in every sense of the word. I love him so fiercely that I am almost willing to give up my identity to simply be his mother. I say almost because I have learned/am learning that while he is and will always be a huge part of me, it is just as important (for my sanity and his) to retain some autonomy. I am learning, ever so slowly, to love myself just as fiercely so he can grow up knowing a confident and happy mother. And it is overwhelming, discovering this newfound confidence, finding the right balance, and drawing that very fine line. But all of these crazy emotions and mind games I’ve played with myself are totally worth it because, going back to square one, damn do I love that kid.

Little G and Mom FINAL

3. LET IT GO. I will tell you now, any hopes you had of keeping the house pristine, the sofas white, the sheets clean, and the carpets stain-free – toss them out the window. NOW. It will save you so much stress in the future. I have two dogs, a cat, a toddler, and, well, a grown toddler in the form of a husband, and for far too long I tried to keep the house really, really clean and as adult-like as possible. I still try to keep messes at a minimum by cleaning as I go – picking up little piles and pieces as I move from room to room throughout the day – so nothing seems like a huge, overwhelming task. But honestly, a lot of things go ignored these days. Little peanut butter finger prints can be found on most furniture and appliances, jelly stains give my dining room rug plenty of “character,” and our pretty awesomely painted wood floors are sprinkled with dog prints and God knows what else… but this is exactly what keeps life so genuine. And frankly, I’d rather spend time in the sunshine with my kid than struggle for the impossibly clean house. Heck, those crumbs and stains aren’t going anywhere!


4. BUT DON’T PROCRASTINATE. Of course, there are times to “let go” and there are times to just dig in and DO. You know how I mentioned cleaning on the go? That is one of the best pieces of advice I can give to a mother. Don’t procrastinate, don’t let things pile up, because it then becomes a huge source of anxiety and one big time-suck. So instead of letting the dishes pile up, clean up after each meal. Instead of taking an entire day to do 50 loads of laundry, spread it out through the week, designate days for sheets, your clothes, spouses clothes, baby clothes, etc. When you walk into a room, take 5 minutes to clean up before you leave it. It makes the day-to-day responsibilities so much less tedious and/or monotonous. Be sure to sprinkle fun things throughout the day and these 5-minute tasks won’t phase you one bit.

5. TRUST YOUR GUT. It’s hard to explain, but when you become a mother, something supernatural seems to happen. Somehow, you gain this six-sense, and those deep, primitive instincts kick in. 17 months ago, I had absolutely no idea what to do with a screaming, squirmy baby. I had been around very few of them, and never felt a huge urge to snuggle or steal someone else’s child. But when you hold your own screaming, squirming child, something changes. Things click, and whether it’s an immediate reaction or a slower evolution, you will feel the shift. From then on, your gut will never be the same. You will know, deep down, what your child needs, how he is feeling and when he is in pain. You will know when he is hungry, or tired, or overwhelmed. And sometimes, you will know when a doctor is wrong, or know when to pry a little further. So, for all of you new and expecting mothers out there that may be on the verge of panic (as we all are at some point!), fear not. As you struggle to breastfeed, or put on a diaper, or get your child to sleep, or to eat anything at all, put aside all that guilt and outside parenting advice you were fed, and let your gut guide you just a little. And then a little more. Do what feels right for you and for your family and things will slowly fall into place.  *Please note: I am not advocating going against doctor’s advice. Listen to your gut, but please be responsible! If you are having doubts about any medical advice you were given, trust your gut and do your research, but please seek a second or even third opinion from a trained professional.

Adidas Grey FINAL copy

6. THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. For the first 8+ months of Greyson’s life, I struggled. He was what I would call a “spirited” baby. He cried. A LOT. To be deemed “colicky” he would have had to cry for 3+ hours straight for multiple days and weeks on end, which he thankfully did not do, but it was pretty damn close. I had numerous meltdowns and I cried. A LOT. For the first few months, I chose to grin and bare it. There were bright moments to stifle the dark ones and I was coping as best I could. But 6 months in, I began to feel hopeless, stuck, and more than once I questioned my ability as a mother, as a wife, and as a HUMAN. Sometimes, I felt the urge to simply run away from it all. Start over. I would make vague comments to friends and family and I would get the “oh, that’s just what babies do!” Or, “he’s such a sweetheart” coupled with an odd look. I began to think I was crazy. But listen carefully Mammas, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Little babes tend to act differently with their mothers. You are their lifeline, you are their comfort, you are the one and only thing they need for the first year of their life. They will make demands of you. They will suck everything out of you (literally, if you choose to go that route) and still want more. But they will also love you more than anything in this world, and this will only grow day by day. Just as they reserve their very best cries and shrieks and tantrums for you, you will be the sole proprietor of their brightest smiles, tightest hugs, and sweetest snuggles. So if you feel stuck, less than human, or have a desperate need to flee, know that you are not alone. You have every right to feel as you do, but IT DOES GET BETTER. In fact, it gets GREAT. Cling to that thought through your sleepless nights and endless days. And one day you will see that tiny sparkle of light and each day going forward it will get brighter and brighter and brighter until you suddenly realize that you’re out of the dark and the tunnel is far behind you.


7. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. This kind of goes hand in hand with letting it go, but sometimes kids just gotta be kids, you know? They will eat dirt, they will kiss the dogs (speaking of, here’s a good read on that), they will mash bananas in their hair, and blow snot into their hands if not stick them into every slimy, sticky thing imaginable. It’s messy, it’s gross, but sometimes, if it isn’t harming them, you just have to let them be. On that same note, if you are in desperate need of a 20 minute breather, allowing your kid to watch an episode of Sesame Street or Little Einsteins or whatever does not make you a bad parent. If it makes the difference between a relaxed, happy parent and a stressed, unhappy parent – it actually makes you a good parent! Judging every moment of every day as the make or break difference in your child’s life is enough to drive anyone insane. Be present, be the guiding force, but don’t sweat the small stuff.

8. LET THEM FALL. So much easier said than done, of course, but sometimes a kid just needs to fall in order to learn how to pick himself back up. Success is derived through trial and error, experiences are made and lessons learned through mistakes, and character is built on failure. I have the terrible habit of hovering any time Greyson is working through a new developmental skill. Crawling, walking, using a spoon, climbing the stairs, whatever – I have been at the ready to jump in and help and sometime even do for him what he should be attempting on his own. It’s a mother’s instinct to protect, but there is a very fine line between “helping” and micromanaging. Allow him the space to figure it out.

G at the Park FINAL

9. DON’T JUDGE. Really, I don’t understand why mothers are so hard on each other. Most of us carried that baby around in our belly for 9 months, felt the pains of delivery and the ensuing emotions of post-partum. We have all struggled with the mental stress of sleepless nights, monotonous days, and felt the rising panic of “Oh my God I have no idea what to do why is this baby screaming at me?!” We’ve all been there. And we each deal with it in a way that fits our personality and lifestyle. Whether you’re a breast or bottle feeder, a baby carrier (or Heaven forbid, a Bjorn user instead of an Ergo user), a stroller user, a stay at home mom, or a working mom, etc. etc.…so what? As long as your baby is happy and healthy, do what works for you. What is the point of judging the lives and choices of other mothers when you know all too well the moments you have struggled in your own? No one can deny that motherhood is hard. So why make it harder by throwing judgments around? The best thing we can do for ourselves is BE THERE for others. Mothers, unite!

10. PERFECTION DOESN’T EXIST. “Having it all” is a mind frame. No one truly has it all. OR, we all have it all. We all have our ups and downs, joys and sorrows, and frankly, you never know what goes on behind the scenes in the lives of those around. So when that little green monster pops up and you begin to think to yourself “how does she do it all?!” STOP. Most likely, she doesn’t do it all. She’s had to make sacrifices, just like you. She’s had to struggle with her choices, just like you. We all try to put up a happy facade that doesn’t always relay our reality. So, instead of judging (see #9), or competing, or feeling that constant mommy guilt (see #7), just work on finding the balance that works for YOU. And let the rest go (see #3). THAT sounds like perfection to me!

Obviously, these tidbits have been derived through my own (newish) experiences as a mother. You may disagree with some, you may have some to add of your own – I would love to hear your thoughts! I want to open the doors to communication, but please, keep an open mind and keep it constructive! I look forward to hearing more insights into this thing we call Motherhood 🙂


Poor Kid 2

It’s been a doozy of a month folks. Between snow storms, leaking pipes, head colds, and the stomach flu, I’m not sure where the time has gone. I suppose that’s the reality of Winter, but man, I am so happy it’s March! It came in like a lion with this last snow/sleet/ice storm so I am going to be hopeful in saying that it will be going out like a lamb and I now have nothing but sunshine and rainbows to look forward to. Ahhh, how I love you Spring!

I suppose the one good thing that came out of my recent intimacies with the toilet, aka the stomach flu, was my total disregard of the time change. I mean, with the whole family taken down by this bug, I lost days so losing one measly hour didn’t phase me. And since little Grey was the first victim, his sleep routine was already a bit of a mess. So while I can’t say we “lucked out,” we are adjusting better than expected!

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

Although, I say adjusting very lightly because really, the kid just doesn’t sleep. He’ll wake up a 2am happy as a clam and ready to party. It’ll take me an hour or more to convince him that really, THERE IS NO PARTY, in which case he’ll begrudgingly agree, fitfully drift off to sleep, and then wake up at 6am ready to party all over again. Where does the energy come from?! And how can I get some?!

Truth be told, I’ve been struggling to find time for myself these days. Not the relax in the tub with a glass of wine kind of time, although that does sound glorious, but the time to get creative and work towards my business ventures kind of time. I’ve tried to piece together tips and suggestions on how other working moms seem to do it all, but I haven’t quite figured it out yet, other than the consistent advice of carving time out in the mornings…do these people not have super early risers and/or non-sleepers?! SO, if you happen to have any tricks up your sleeve to get a kid to sleep in order to carve out this special morning me time, please do tell!

Ok, so now that I’ve vented some of the personal, I actually DO have a little business to share with you…I’ve decided to open a new Etsy shop offering online event and design service! This is a service that offers the best of both worlds: consultation, motivation, and the inspiration to create a space of your dreams, all on your time and budget.

Etsy Shop Screen

I’m still working out the kinks, and I’ll be adding my own furniture and accessory category to the mix soon, but if you are interested in taking a peek, please head on over to the Modage Cottage via Etsy or simply click on the e-Design or E-Event Service pages above. I would love to hear your thoughts, suggestions, and/or constructive criticism!


Well hello my dear friends – it has been far, FAR too long! I took a much longer “break” than anticipated in my attempt to get into the swing of this whole motherhood thing. Some people fall right into a routine and get that system down from the start, and some people…don’t. I fell into the latter category and 15 months later, sometimes still find myself struggling with the daily routine. I’m not the only one out there feeling this way, right? RIGHT?!

Anyhow, while I’ve been quiet on this site, I’ve been not so quiet behind the scenes, trying to get myself back into working order. In this oh-so brief time I’ve been away (ehem…), I’ve managed to nail down a studio space and created a new site (someone managed to pull The Modage Cottage domain name out from under my feet, so I am officially at – feel free to bookmark the new page!). I’m still in the fledgling stages with both the studio and the new website, but with a little encouragement and a lot of work, I hope to hit the ground running very soon!


YES! (pulled from one of my favorite sources of inspiration: Knack)

Please feel free to subscribe/like/bookmark, etc. the new site and any feedback, suggestion, and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU (really, I can’t thank you enough) to all those that have stuck with me through thick and thin…and long radio silences. You are the reason I keep plugging away at this.

I will have this site up for a few more weeks, and then I will be transferring it over to the new site. Cheers to new beginnings (no matter how slowly…) and I hope you will join me on this new and exciting journey.


A Battle Won (+ some link love)

This week has felt like an eternity. I’ve been attempting to sleep train my Little and my God, it is hard. Sleepless nights have melded into each other and as this deficit continues to grow, I just have to keep chugging along, trying to make it work. But the worst part is seeing him struggle. It hurts my heart to hear him cry, to see that look of desperation in his eyes. I know he’s tired, I know he doesn’t fully understand how to soothe himself back to sleep, but he is so curious and just wants mommy to pick him up so he can feel her warmth and observe the world around him.

Naptime w Watermark

For the first time, he slept last night for a long stretch of time in his very own crib, in his very own room. It was a long fought battle that we won that night, but all the while, I yearned to have my baby next to me. They grow up so quickly, don’t they? I know it’s healthy for him to discover his independence, but I’m already missing the sound of him stirring next to me. Ah, motherhood is full of so many juxtapositions!

Sleeping Babe w Watermark

Feels like such a lifetime ago!


Obviously, I’m feeling a little reminiscent and whimsical these days as that little guy you see above becomes more and more determined to do things on his own. So I thought I’d share a few links that struck a chord with me this week:

  • Mary Beth always has such a sweet way with words. No one is meant to do life alone – we should all be willing to encourage each other, help each other, and accept help from others.
  • I love Joanna’s honesty. Motherhood is hard and it seems like a lot of moms out there want to hide that aspect of it, as if feeling bad meant you were a bad mother. But feeling bad happens, that’s Life, and it’s OK. It’s how you pick yourself back up that matters.
  • Hug it out, folks!
  • If you ever needed an excuse to think positively, this is it…
  • …and here are 50 ways to help you get there.

Have a happy weekend everyone!

Adding More ING (+ having an honest moment).

As a mother to a 5 month old (I can’t believe he is already 5 months!), I sometimes find myself busy and bored all within the same moment. I am constantly doing something – whether it is playing with G, cleaning up after G, cleaning up/yelling after 1 or all of my 3 furry critters, cleaning house/doing laundry/prepping dinner/writing like a mad woman, etc. all while little G sleeps for 20 minutes – but DOING doesn’t always mean LIVING and I definitely struggle with this aspect.

Not that I don’t enjoy some of these things some of the time – I love playing with Greyson and I treasure the brief moments I have to write – but by the time I actually have the opportunity to go out and enjoy the day, I am utterly exhausted, mentally and physically (Little Dude is most definitely going through some kind of sleep regression!). Just the thought of putting away the dogs, packing him up, and transferring him to the car becomes daunting.

Of course, when I do find the motivation to shake off my exhaustion and seize the day, fabulous memories are created. And these are the memories that get me through the hard, monotonous days (and sleepless nights).


I recently read a book called Add More ING to Your Life (recently being my pre-baby days), and I’ve come to realize that this is a concept I should apply to my struggles. The fabulous memories I create when I do choose to seize the day are exactly what give me the motivation to create more.

Add More Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness

You can purchase the book here.

The more experiences you have, the happier you will be. OR, a body in motion stays in motion.

That, my friends, is the ING concept: to get moving. To experience, to create, to explore. To do things that inspire you to do more.


So, going forward, that is what I hope to do. When I’m feeling exhausted or a little down in the dumps, I plan to start moving, experiencing, exploring, laughing, creating, writing and actually LIVING, despite my exhaustion or negativity.

Will you join me?

Because we’ve all been there at some point in our lives, and many of us are still there: in a rut. So why not give each other that extra push and motivation to climb out?

To hold myself accountable, and perhaps help you do the same, I’ll be making this a weekly series, offering some positive thinking and giving you a rundown of how I added a little ING to my week. I would love to here your thoughts, comments, suggestions, positive affirmations, motivations, and ways in which you added your own ING.

Now let’s get MOVING!

Chasing Grey

I took a bit of a hiatus from The Modage Cottage to dedicate time to the new and wonderful addition to my family. And what a joy it has been! There have been a few pitfalls and tears along the way – you DO NOT want to mess with a girl going on multiple months of sleepless nights! – but my God, to watch my little guy discover the world in all his innocence…it is something magical.

Processed with VSCOcam with c2 preset

This blog, however, has become my lifeline. It is my little piece of heaven, where I somehow find the briefest of moments away from my little to carve out time for myself. But I am never truly away from him, am I? Yes, the little devil is in my every thought and you will see a lot of him on this here blog. Greyson, Little Man, Mister, Dude, and the occasional Curmudgeon, we call him a lot of things, but I’m certain he will want to go by Grey once he has his say.

I am constantly amazed how quickly time passes with a babe to entertain you. In fact, I’m convinced babies are a black hole for time! Which is exactly why I find myself chasing Grey, because I don’t want to miss a second of this beautiful life we are building together or forget how quickly he will grow.

But I also don’t want to overlook myself and how I am growing with him. His innocence, his helplessness, and his ingenuous frustrations make me want to be a better person. A more selfless person. A happier and more carefree person.

So this is my story with a fresh perspective. One that embraces motherhood: the joys, the strains, the desperations, and the desires. But most of all, this is a story about love and family and all the little, wonderful things Life has to offer.

Welcome to the new chapter in my life. Welcome to the new and improved Modage Cottage!

Finding Myself in Motherhood…

We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there too.               – Kristin Martz

I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot lately, and I’ve struggled with putting into words my feelings as of late. You see, I have lost myself in this thing called motherhood; it brings me the greatest joy, but there also runs an undercurrent of apprehension and frustration. Life will forever be altered and I am no longer who I once was. But who have I become?

This is the question that keeps me up at night. I am a mother and a wife; these are roles that are so incredibly fulfilling in so many ways. But there is a part of me that still craves…something more. I just don’t yet know what that something is.

What I do know is that while I have lost myself in motherhood, I am also in the process of finding myself there too. No, I am not who I once was – I am something better. I created a person and that is something magical. But my priorities have changed and my focus is shifting.

What does all this mean for my blog? Well, it means that my inspirations have also shifted and I’m not yet sure in what direction I want them to go.

I do have a few grandiose ideas, just not the time to execute them. And rather than split my time between blogging and baby with neither getting the full attention necessary, I’d rather delight in my little one and give him my all. Motherhood has most definitely become an all-encompassing priority (and finding any semblance of a routine has been quite the arduous path. If anyone has any advice on getting a 3 month old to nap for longer than 35 minutes at a time, please let me know!). So, until I have the time and the proper mindset, my blog will have to take the back seat.

When I do recommence (and I have every intention to!), I hope to have a better focus, a style that is entirely my own, a few more DIY’s under my belt, and a voice that truly embraces all of the realities of motherhood: the joys, the strains, the desperate need for a shower, and the desire to instill a little bit of fashion into the new mom wardrobe.

Mainly, I hope to rediscover what I initially set out to achieve with this blog: to feel inspired. And lately, that’s exactly what has been lacking.

So for all of my readers, thank you so very much for following me. I’m sure I will lose a few of you as time lags and my focus shifts, but it was a fun ride while it lasted and I thank you for giving me the chance. And for those of you that do choose to stick it out, you are my greatest inspiration and I hope that I don’t disappoint.

I’ll be back, it’ll just take a little time to find myself again through the things I love.

Self care and taking time to live your life will give you the energy and creativity to put back into your…I will still be posting on Instagram and Facebook so feel free to follow me there in the meantime!

In His Hands…(and 1-4/52 Weekly Portraits)

In His Hands

1/52: “To see the world in a grain of sand, to see heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour”   -William Blake

I must admit, motherhood is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles I have ever assumed. Every day is a new experience, every hour is a new demand, and every minute is an absolute delight. There are definitely moments I doubt myself and this enormous responsibility. Many moments, in fact. Raising a child is hard. But at the end of the day, it is also immensely satisfying.

I can’t deny that I have become frustrated at times. There is very little time for myself, for my writing, for this blog, for showers, for the multitude of little things that I would like to do, but then I take one look at his face, his curious, smiling face, and realize that it really isn’t about me anymore. It’s about him, and I’m ok with that.


I recently stumbled across this beautiful blog and immediately knew that like Jodi, and as my son grows right before my eyes, I want to capture as many treasured moments with him as possible.

Greyson 2

2/52: I am learning to appreciate the uncertainties of motherhood, but there is one thing that I am certain of: this little guy holds my heart in his hands, for infinity and beyond.

Thus begins my own 52 Project for 2014: a memory keeping (and making!) journey that I hope to look back on year after year with love and bittersweet nostalgia.

I’ll be posting a portrait of the week every Monday and linking up with Practising Simplicity every Sunday going forward. I hope you can join me (and excuse me as I play catch up)!

My Guys @ Grace Winery

3/52: “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies” –Aristotle

G in Jumperoo

4/52: “Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one!” – Dr. Seuss